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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441781">Crazy little thing called love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenslittlesister/pseuds/Queenslittlesister'>Queenslittlesister</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Queen (Band), Wham! (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Multi, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:34:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenslittlesister/pseuds/Queenslittlesister</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Freddie Bulsara,he's a Twenty six year old and five months pregnant,he gets into a car accident when in labour at eight months pregnant and is taken care of by a certain paramedic,Brian May,who's been a paramedic since he was eighteen,he's Twenty five now,once Freddie is taken to the hospital by Brian and his partner in the paramedic field,they know about Freddie being five months pregnant,Freddie has three kids.its stressful for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brian May/Freddie Mercury, Freddie Mercury/George Michael</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>this will be in Brighton,England</em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>Cast:</em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <span class="u">Freddie mercury:Twenty six(born,September fifth 19</span>
    </b>
    <b>
      <span class="u">6</span>
    </b>
    <b>
      <span class="u">4)</span>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <span class="u">George Michael(Freddie's ex husband,father of Noah,Michael and Liam).:Twenty seven </span>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Brian may:twenty five </span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Roger taylor:Twenty three </span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">John deacon:Twenty one </span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Kids:</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Noah mercury:10(Born:1980,March 3rd)</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Michael mercury:8(Born:1982,February 4th)</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Liam mercury:six(born:1984,October 7th)</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Year:1990s,2000s</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">
      <b>Hospital:Royal Sussex county hospital</b>
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢↢ </em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Freddie Bulsara,he's a Twenty six year old and five months pregnant,he gets into a car accident </span>
    </em>
    <em>
      <span class="u">when in labour at eight months pregnant </span>
    </em>
    <span class="u">
      <em>and is taken care of by a certain paramedic,Brian May,who's been a paramedic since he was eighteen,he's Twenty five now,once Freddie is taken to the hospital by Brian and his partner in the paramedic field,they know about Freddie being five months pregnant,Freddie has three kids.its stressful for him.</em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Warnings:child abuse mention,swearing,fluff</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">January 3rd 1990     Monday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">8:30AM</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>Freddie's p.o.v</em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>hey,i'm Freddie.I'm Twenty six with three kids,all boys.I'm on my fourth.My ex husband and i had divorced when i got pregnant again.he's been helping,since he's the father of my three boys.I'm five months along with my fourth pregnancy.George still lives with me.he takes the boys to school,giving me time to do whatever.</p><p>"someone's glowing this morning",he's up."Morning to you too Mikey",i say.he kissed my cheek."the boys are up",he says."i know",i say."got a name for her yet?",he asked."not yet",i say,rubbing my baby bump."Noah,Michael,Liam!",i call.they came down,Noah's Ten,Michael's eight,Liam's Six.I have anxiety,PTSD and bipolar.PTSD from an abusive past,anxiety from when i got diagnosed when i was six.Bipolar recently diagnosed.I have a service dog,trained to detect if i start having an episode.</p><p>I'm more likely to have an anxiety attack.I sat on the sofa."you three be good",i warn"we will daddy!",Liam says,he's my little daddy's boy.George took them to school.I do work.i'm a teacher to eleven year olds.in a highschool.I drove myself to work.George works as well.part time,giving him time to spend with the boys.I walked into work.</p><p>I'm five months pregnant.I teach English.I got to my classroom,waited.my class walked in.while i sat at my desk."good morning class,take out you're exercise books for this lesson",i say.I work here with a two of my friends,john and Roger.Roger's the cocky one,teaching music while John teaches history.A knock on the door."come in",i say.</p><p>I look up,its John"a word outside",he says"yes?",i say."I've got a student willing to transfer to your class",he says"its fine John ,i have three boys anyway",i say."class settle down",i shush them.John brought in my new student.</p><p>I bring my service dog to work with me.With me being pregnant,my anxiety and PTSD flares up mainly,my bipolar not to much.My service dog is a German shepherd,Max is his name."this is William",John says"Hi",i say."he's a little shy.with anxiety too",John smiled."William,you can take a seat in the front",i smile.i sat back at my desk. </p><p>keeping Max at my side,i got on with teaching the lesson."Sir!",i turn around.it happened to be Maddie,she's the outgoing one"yes Maddie?",i say,she pointed to William.I took him outside the class with max."William",he looked at me."Its okay,Max is a service dog,i have anxiety too",i say."really?",he asked,i nodded."Max DPT",i say.</p><p>"I know anxiety sucks",i say."try and take deep breaths",i tell him.my baby had started kicking.the bell rang.Max ran to my bag.i stay in my classroom."S Sir?",it was William."yes?",i say."C c could i sit in here and eat?",he asked"of course",i smile.I usually let Max off his leash for a bit.</p><p>"do you need any help with the work?",i ask as a knock interrupts."its open!",i say."hey",of course."what are you doing here?",i ask George."to see you",he says.I got a bad feeling,looked to William,anxiety attack,sent Max over to him."Freddie",George says"anxiety attack",i smirk.I got William to sit against my desk."Max DPT",i say.</p><p>"William,let max,he's a service dog,he knows what he's doing",i smile."better?",i ask,William nods.John came in."William's mother is in the office asking for him",he says."No!",William suddenly yelled."Will sit down",John says. </p><p>"what's wrong?",he asked William"she's not my mother,she's my step mom......she hits me",William confessed.We kept William in my classroom before screaming could be heard.That triggered my PTSD.Max came to me,sensing my breathing pick up.Its not good for my baby.Max pawed at my ankle,George got my meds out from Max's vest pocket,gave me two.</p><p>It helped a lot.I would have a PTSD episode once a week.i get therapy for it."Freddie,are you okay?",George whispered me"yes,i'm fine",i say.george and i go and pick up the boys.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">January 4th 1990       Tuesday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">8:10AM</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>"Daddy daddy!",i hear my daddy's boy,Liam say,he ran into George and i's shared room."good morning mister",i coo.i sat up.i was topless.Twenty six and pregnant.I let Liam gently stroke over my bump.he calls his sister,well the baby in my stomach,sissy.Its adorable."George,wake up",i poked him."go away",he groaned."get up",i say.</p><p>i look at Liam.he straddled George's waist."papa,up!",he says."go on Liam,you know what to do",i say.i slightly tickled my ex husband.Liam joined me."oh come on you two!",George had started giggling.</p><p>"alright Liam,,that's enough",i say.the primary school,the boys go to is right next to the highschool.George dropped the boys off.I got dressed into an oversized hoodie and jeans that just about fit me.I brushed my teeth quickly.brushed out my hair,rushed to the highschool.I got to my classroom,sat down.John had been watching them."are you sure you're okay to teach?",he asked"yes,i'm fine",i say.</p><p>"just prego",i muttered"i don't have classes all day,i'll stay",he says.I kept an eye on William.Max stayed by my side,i got on with teaching.i felt a flutter. "need me to take over?",John asked,i nodded."take as long as you want",he says to me."S sir?",William says quietly"yes?",i say."need help?",i ask,he nods,i had him sit next to my desk,i gave him the help.I got called to the office,told John to keep an eye on William.</p><p>I went to the office,heavily pregnant.i felt a kick to my spine,taking deep breaths,letting Max lead me."you called Ma'am?",i needed to sit down."yes.We got a complaint from William's mother,any news on him?",Principle Alpin asked,"he's got anxiety,had a couple of anxiety attacks yesterday during class.It takes a few minutes to calm him down,its not his mother,its his step mom,she hits him",i say."you should be on Maternity leave",she says to me"can't,need the money for my three boys,can't afford to take it off",i say. </p><p> "yes you can",she says"can't,i'm divorced,don't have the money from the City anymore,i'm on Credit",i say."take today off",she says"no",i say,i go back to class.i sat down once getting back.I kept William by my desk."would it help if i let you pet Max?",i ask,he shyly nodded."go on then",i say.I took William over to my office which is in the English office.</p><p>i sat him down."William,does your stepmom hit you?",i ask,he nods."has she grabbed you roughly by the arms,legs,any where?",i ask,he nods."can you show me,i'm not gonna hurt you,i have three kids of my own,all boys"i say."like i said,i wont hurt you",i say.i helped him get his top off."does it hurt when i press here?",i ask.</p><p>he nodded,i had pressed by his shoulders."what does she hit you with?",i ask."its okay if you don't want to tell me",i reassured him."b belt,hairbrush anything",he says."I'm going to ask you to draw or write your feelings",i say.he nods,i hand him paper with crayons/pencils.</p><p>my phone went off.George.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"Miss you already Freddie! XX"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>I got a knock on the door"come in",i say."ah principle Alpin",i say."his step mom is here",she says."he's not going with her,my decision,"i say."alright,i'll get police on the line along with Social services",She says"best idea",i say.she leaves the room,i shut the door."finished?",i ask,he nodded.i looked at him.I took the paper,read over it.</p><p>"i honestly don't know why you didn't choose art",i say."you could be an Artist one day",i smile.my phone went off.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"boys have been sent home from school,they got into a fight,want me to bring them to the highschool?"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>"yeah sure"</em>
</p><p>I kept William distracted."Mr Bulsara,police and Social services are here",Principle alpin says.i nodded.Social services came in,i got up."tell them what you told me",i say to William,he nodded"thank you",he says"its okay",i say,i hugged him carefully."you can always talk to me",i say.i go and meet my ex husband and kids"my boys!",i say ,my kids ran to me,Liam,i lifted up.</p><p>"boys,did you three get into a fight at school?",i ask."yes daddy,i'm sorry",Liam says"Not going to work this time Liam",i say."bulsara!",Principle alpin"Ma'am,they're my kids",i say.</p><p>"George take them home",i say.he kissed my cheek"how's William?",i ask"scared,he's asking for you",she says,we go back into the room.I caught sight of William's teary eyes.my heart broke."William",i say.he ran to me in tears.</p><p>"its okay",i say.i sat him down,"want to do DPT with max?",i ask,he nodded.I got max to put his paws across William's thighs."its okay to pet him",i say."did you tell them what you told me?",i ask,he nodded."deep breaths,okay?",i say"o okay",he slightly stammered."i'll do it with you",i smile.</p><p>i got him to calm down."i advise getting him checked over at the hospital",the lady from social services says.I nodded."Bulsara,i do advise you do take him to be checked over,i'll tell his stepmom",Principle alpin says,i nodded.I signed William out of school for the rest of the day.We got into my car,i drove us to the hospital.</p><p>"we're only here to get you checked over,then its up to you on we do",i say.I got max out the car,William stayed by me,i signed him in.We go over to the children's unit.I put him under my last name."William bulsara?",i smirk."its okay William",i say"i promise",i smiled.We followed the doctor."i'm Dr McCarthy",she says. </p><p>I put William onto the bed in the room.Dr McCarthy and i stood away from William"No,i'm not his parent before you ask",i say."My boss advised i bring him to be checked over,",i say"victim of child abuse?",she asked,i nodded."he's in my hands for the time being,while his stepmom is being questioned",i say.</p><p>"Max heel",i say."William,could you take your top off?",Dr McCarthy asked him.i helped him get it off. "i'm going to check your heart and breathing,okay?",he nodded."you're being so brave",i say to him.</p><p>"aren't you George Michael's husband?",she asked me"ex husband,we divorced,after i got pregnant with the fourth",i say"Now i remember you,i did a number of your ultrasounds",she says."Lucy?",i ask"that's me",she says.William got checked over,"would you like to choose something from the prize box?",she asked him.William shyly nodded."go on",she says.he picked out a toy lion"good choice",he blushed."its up to you what we do for the rest of the day",i say.</p><p>"and your step mom doesn't know",i say."what do you want to do?",i ask"take a walk on the beach",he says"okay",i say.I grab max's leash."you can tell me anything",i say"i i know sir",he says"its Freddie outside of school",i say.he nods.I bought us lunch.</p><p>"eat up",i say.he finished his lunch.I took him to the shopping centre here.in brighton."you can have anything you want",i say."a are you sure?",he asked"of course i am",i say.My phone rang....Principle Alpin.</p><p>(<em><b>Freddie,</b>Principle alpin)</em></p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"hello?"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>"Williams father is here"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>"okay"</b>
  </em>
</p><p>I took him back to the school."I hope you had a good time",i say to him.i gave him a hug."thank you so much",his father says"its fine,i'm a father of three anyway,with a fourth on the way",i say.</p><p>i drove home."boys?Daddy's home!",i call."Daddy!",Noah came to me,i pepper him with kisses to his cheeks then Michael then Liam."any names for baby four",George asked"None",i say,i'm having a girl this time.Max bounds in.i sat on the sofa.i had a flashback or two.that's when my PTSD and anxiety kicked in.i was careful with my bipolar,i'm on medication for it.</p><p>Max lay across my lap."Eleanor",i say."i like it",George smiled.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">January fifth 1990       Wednesday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>"Good morning Elle",i hear George say to my bump"go away George",i groan."you've got work",he says,i push his face away."don't you fucking dare",i say.George does have his own place,he's here most of the time,then in the evenings,its just the boys and i.</p><p>I put on a hoodie and jeans.i brushed my teeth,brushed my hair,braided it.George got the boys to school,gave me a lift to work.I walk to my classroom.Did i ever mention,George is a police officer."SURPRISE!",the fuck?</p><p>"what's going on?",i ask."you're going on maternity leave",John says"John,i can't ,i have three boys to take care off,this is why George and i work twelve hours a day",i say."I'm five months John",i say."Freddie,Principle alpin told you to go on maternity leave",he says"I can't john,i have three kids,George works twelve hours",i say.</p><p>"he lives with you freddie,he's your ex husband!",John says"Get out",i say.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Eleanor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">January fifth 1990        Wednesday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>Freddie's p.o.v</em>
    </span>
  </b>
</p><p>I can't go on Maternity leave.I got on with teaching.William was more bright and happy."has anyone read the Great Gatsby?",i ask,a few hands shot up. "first line?",i ask "William",i say</p><p>"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticising anyone, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.",he says"very good",i say</p><p>I got on with the lesson.Eleanor had been kicking my back."I expect you all to write a page essay on yourself and feelings",i say.I sat down with max across my thighs."sir?",William."yes will?"i say."Are you doing better?",i ask,he nods."i'm glad to hear that,William",i smile.then Eleanor kicked my back hard.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">three months later,April fifth 1990     Monday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">9:00AM</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>Eight months pregnant,on maternity leave.I do keep in touch with my class.John usually arranges a live meeting.I had not long ago gone into labour.I was keeping updates.I was driving myself to the hospital.when......another car hits mine.My water had broke while getting up.someone called an ambulance. </p><p>My car is totalled.I swear i was about to give birth here.I managed to get out of my car."You Fucking idiot!",the person that hit my car yelled"i'm fucking pregnant!",i scream."I'm in labour you fucking asshole",i say."calm down",a paramedic says to both of us"I'm in fucking labour",i hiss.</p><p>"Brian,you are?",he asked"Freddie",i say"how many months along are you,Freddie?",he asked"eight,i'm in labour",i say."any more kids?",he asked"three,this is the fourth",i say.Michael's now a nine year old.He took me to the back ambulance."how long did ago did your water break?",he asked."half eight this morning",i say."thirty minutes into labour?",he asked,i nodded"ex husband is at work",i say.</p><p>he gave me something for the pain."what's the gender",he asked"a girl",i say"does she have a name?",he asked"Eleanor",i smile"aren't you that teacher that got a kids stepmom arrested?",he asked"yes,i am,i work at the highschool,refused maternity leave while five months pregnant",i say.</p><p>"breathe,deep breaths",he says"i'm in labour,expect me to breathe?think again",i say.We got to the hospital.They took me to maternity.</p><p>I had to let John know.</p><p>(<em><b>Freddie,</b>John)</em></p><p>
  <em>
    <b>"John,i got into a car accident,but im okay,im at the hospital"</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"ARE YOU SURE?!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>"YES! im in labour,in maternity and delivery",</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"alright,im sure your class will be happy to hear you're okay"</em>
</p><p>We got to the delivery room</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">2:30PM,five hours later</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>I'm five hours into labour,panting a lot.I was getting closer to needing to push.A knock on the door"c come in",i pant."hey again",Brian"hey",i say."thought you'd want company",he smiled"i could do with it,ex doesn't get off work until four",i say.I needed to push.The doctor came in."alright ten Centimetres,ready to push?",he asked,i nodded. </p><p>"one big push",the doctor says,i do.i look at Brian,he held my hand.i took breaths between.i had luckily left Max at home."push number two",the doctor says."FUCK!",i yelled feeling the burn.i counted in my head.</p><p>
  <em>1......2........3.......4.....1.....2....3......4</em>
</p><p>"the head's crowning",the doctor says.I pushed,squeezing the life out of Brian's hand.</p><p>"one more push",was said after ten minutes.I pushed,panting"We have a girl!",my baby started crying.the cord was cut.i put my legs back on the bed after pushing out the placenta.Eleanor was given to me."look at you,adorable",i coo at my baby girl.wrapped up in an adorable baby blanket.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Eleanor Bulsara Michael:</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>"she's so cute",Brian says."i know she is,thank you",i say"for what?doing my job",he smirked"shut up",i smile."you saved me and my baby",i say.I sat up.the nurse weighed my baby,checked her breathing.she was handed back to me."she's so cute",i cooed.her little hand grabbed my finger.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">April sixth 1990       Tuesday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">10:30AM</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>I had been up most of the night,feeding Eleanor.I picked her up,cradled her to my chest.did skin to skin time."open your eyes little one",i coo.her eyes are gorgeous.she has my eyes.George's blonde hair.I had pre made bottles from the nurse,i fed my baby.i dressed her into a cute onesie.a teddy bear onesie.</p><p>I don't lactate."knock knock",i knew the voice"its open",i yawned"sorry,i couldn't make it last night",George says"its fine George",i say"we have a baby girl",i say."she's a cutie",he says."George,i was in a car accident yesterday,i'm okay",i say"what,why didn't you call?",he asked"because George,i was in labour,five hours of labour",i say.</p><p>I get discharged today and go back to work."can i come in?"Brian"Sure",i say."brought a car seat ,thought you'd need it",he says"thank you",i say.i got changed into my jeans and hoodie.Brian helped me get Eleanor into the car seat."Freddie",George says."he saved me,i could've been dead by the time the baby was born",i say."George,you've got work",i say.</p><p>"go,i'll get a cab",i say.George left for work."i'll give you a lift",Brian says"thank you",i say."you know,you could move in with me,i have a seven bedroom house",he says "are you sure?",i ask."of course",he says.We walk out to his car,he got the car seat in"thank you for yesterday Brian,it meant a lot",i say.</p><p>"its okay,i was doing my job",he says.we got into the car."fuck",i curse"what?",he asked."left my service dog at home",i say.i gave him the address.I go and grab Max quickly.</p><p>I go max into the back away from Eleanor."thanks again",i say"its fine",he says.we pulled up to the school"if you want,i could get you from work",he says"i'd like that",i say"alright then",he says"i finish around four",i say"same",he says,i got max out,used the over the shoulder leash,picked up the car seat."see you later",i say,he kissed my cheek,i walked into work.Went to my classroom,"look who's back",i say.</p><p>"hey you",John says."Hi",i say."is this little Eleanor",he asked"oh yes",i say."she's adorable",he says"i know",i say"thought i'd come back",i say.i got Eleanor out of her car seat.My class came in,i moved the car seat."I'm back",i say."For good?",Maddie asked"yes for good Maddie,i'll be here everyday",i say.I fed Eleanor,rocking her in my arms.</p><p>"i'll let Mr Deacon take over this class",i say."where's Rog"i ask"in his class as usual",John says.I nodded.a knock on the door."i heard somebody came back",Roger"hey Taylor",i say."spare clothes from Felix and Rory",he says"thanks",i say.</p><p>the bell rang."she's a cutie",roger says."I know she is,she looks like George and i",i say</p><p>the day went on.</p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em> My baby! I'll make you sleep till the wind of morn blows<br/>My baby! Not your death, nor your father's death, on the journey<br/>My baby! Your father is on a journey, I'm afraid of the journey<br/>Like the petal I'm afraid of the zephyr<br/>Whoever comes and gives me good news<br/>I grant him half of my lifetime<br/>My baby! La la, my daughter, la la, my soul, la la!<br/>My baby! You are all the world to me!<br/>My baby! Not your death, nor your father's death, on the journey<br/>My baby! La la, my daughter, la la, my soul, la la!</em>
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</p><p>I sang to her."look at you,you're adorable Elle",i coo at her.I let John hold her."i might be moving out,i found somewhere else to live",i say."Really?",John asked"yeah,i'm taking the boys with me and Eleanor,I've got full custody of them",i say.</p><p>
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      <span class="u">4:30PM</span>
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</p><p>I got Eleanor into her car seat,I walk out to Brian's car."good day?",i ask"oh yeah sure,too many patients in one day,one death of a toddler.a bunch of open fractures",he says."fuck?",i say."lets say,today has not been the greatest",he says."i'll take your offer",i say"you want to move in with me?",he asked"of course",i say.</p><p>We got to Brian's"oh i might have something for you",he says"new car",he says"thank you",i say.he took Max and Eleanor inside."i'm gonna go get my kids",i say"that's fine",he says.i got into my new car,drove back to my old place. i have the keys to Brian's,left my other house keys on the table,packed up my stuff and the kids stuff."Noah,Michael,Liam!",i call,they came down,they got into my car.</p><p>I put the boxes in the boot of the car.shut the boot,left George a note.</p><p>
  <em>George,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Im sorry but im leaving,i cant stay here anymore,im sorry George,i have taken the boys and Eleanor,im staying with John.I cant see you anymore,us living together its making me insane,i cant handle my PTSD,anxiety,Bipolar when you're around,im sorry but i had to leave,if you read this,i never want to see you again,i know what you did!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>,Freddie</em>
</p><p>I sighed but got in the car,went back to Brian's.I pulled into the drive,got the boys out and boxes,Brian came out,helped me with the boxes."what's wrong?",he asked"nothing",i lied."its something",he says."i don't want to talk about it",i snapped. Damn Bipolar."do you have Bipolar?",he asked"No",i lied again"whatever you say",he says.</p><p>"I've had a shit day",i say."drop it",i say.We go inside.he took me aside into the kitchen"i'm not stupid,i know when someone's lying",he says"i don't want to talk about it,drop it",i snapped."I've had a shit day ,okay?!drop it",i say.</p><p>"Freddie,i'm not stupid,tell me the truth,i wont judge",he says.i grab my medication,PTSD meds,Bipolar meds,anxiety meds.i put them in front of him."PTSD,bipolar and anxiety?",he asked,i nodded"trust me,its hard living with PTSD and bipolar",i say."I've hid it for years,i hid it from my ex husband,i would yell at him cause of my Bipolar.I had no control over it,refused to get help for two years until my first two came along",i admitted.</p><p>"We'll talk later",he says,i gave in,i'm sharing a room with Brian,i take my stuff to Brian's room,helped my kids unpack in their own room,i gave Liam and Michael a shared room,Noah got his own then a nursery for Eleanor.i unpacked Eleanor's baby clothes.then helped my kids with their rooms.</p><p>i grab Max,sat down on the floor in Brian's room.my breathing had picked up ,i was having a PTSD episode.Tears took over,flashbacks from my past came back,i started crying more.Tears down my cheeks.Max put his weight on me.I took deep breaths.I wipe my eyes.Telling myself <b>'you're okay' </b>and<b> 'its gonna be okay'</b></p><p>"Daddy?",Shit,Liam"i'm okay Lee",i say."daddy's okay",i say."you're shaking",he says"i'm okay Liam",i say."i promise i'm okay",i say.being the little snitch he is,he got Brian."i'm fine",i lied"Freddie",he says."i'm not stupid",he says.</p><p>"i'm fine",i snapped,"he does it a lot",Michael piped up,he saw me looking at him,he bolted.i ran after him.i picked him up"little snitch",i say,i tickled him all over his tummy,making him laugh and giggle."tickle tickle Michael"i tease."d daddy!N no!",he giggled"No what?No tickles?oh you want more",i say,tickling him more.</p><p>i tickled his neck,he squealed."maybe that'll teach you not to be a snitch",i say.then the other two flew into my arms."Boys!",i say.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">8:40PM</span>
    </em>
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</p><p>"Boys?its time to settle down",i say.i walk into Noah's room."boys",i say."don't make me punish you three",i warned. "Michael,Liam,get ready for bed",i say"No!",,Michael pouts"pouting are we?",i ask."No dad,not the tickle monster!",he says"yes",i say.Noah was already giggling.</p><p>i tickled them both,had them giggling in seconds."awe,you got to get ready for bed",i say."No daddy",Michael pouts.i blew a raspberry on his tummy.he squealed.Noah got ready for bed"Michael,you need to listen or i wont stop",i say."I'm not tired",he says"really?",i smirk.</p><p>"what's wrong?",i ask."does your tummy hurt?",i ask,he nodded,he sat up.i picked him up."god,do you eat bricks?",i ask,he giggled"no!",he says"well,you're strong,like me,you must eat bricks?",i say just to hear him giggle"i do not eat bricks!",he's eight,he's smart.</p><p>"are you sure,you don't eat bricks?",i smile"mhmm",he hums."well you must eat stones if you're strong",i say,he giggled again."what's wrong?",Brian asked."my tummy hurts",Michael says."lets check your temperature",Brian says."its always cold at first",that got Michael giggling.</p><p>"low fever,38.2",Brian says."i suggest cuddles,bubble bath,Popsicle",he says"i don't allow them to have to much sugar,they are a hell to deal with when hyper",i say.Brian rolled his eyes,sent Michael to bed,pulled me into his room"Freddie,i'm not stupid,i know when someone is in the middle of a PTSD attack,no point in lying to me,i'm a paramedic,i'm not stupid",he says.</p><p>"its nothing Brian,doesn't last long",i say"really?you're still shaking,red and puffy eyes,",he says"sit down",he says"i'm fine",i say.</p><p>"want me to pin you down until you stop acting bratty?",he asked"kinky",i mumble. "sit down",he pointed to the bed,i dashed it."Freddie!",he called.he grabbed my arm"you wont get away with it,nothing slips past me",he says."sit down on the bed,we are going to talk about it",he says."i don't want to talk about it!",i snapped,almost yelling.</p><p>i grabbed my jacket."where are you going?",he asked"out",i say."no you're not",he says"we're going sit down and talk",he says"i'm going out",i say."Freddie,sit down,we need to talk,i can tell you don't take your medication!",he says.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Arguing with a paramedic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">April sixth 1990        Tuesday</span>
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  <b>
    <span class="u">
      <em>Freddie's p.o.v</em>
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</p><p>Brian made me sit down,locked the front door.he had me in handcuffs"we're going to talk about it ",he says."one lash out at me,i wont let you out from the bedroom until you calm down",he says.he took them off me.he stripped me naked,so did he,"Sex on the first night?Kinky",i grin"Shut up",he says,handcuffing my wrists to the headboard,my ankles handcuffed to the foot board of the bed.</p><p>"like i said before but i am adding,i wont let you cum",he says,"now tell me,when were you diagnosed?",he asked"anxiety when i was six,PTSD,i had an abusive boyfriend before my ex,bipolar recently.",i say"good boy",he says.palming my hard cock."breathe",he says.</p><p>"how often do you have an anxiety attack?",he asked"almost never",i say"PTSD?",he asked"once a week",i lied."liar",he says"twice a week",i say"Bipolar manic episode?",he asked"almost never",i say.</p><p>"when did you get your service dog?",he asked"Can't remember",i say.he palmed me.i was close,he put a cock ring on me."Oh come on",i whined.</p><p>"Nope",he says.he too the handcuffs from my wrists and ankles,"Not so fast",he says.he grabbed a butt plug.he lubed it and put it inside me,turned it on,i moaned"fuck",i moan.he put on his boxers,"gonna ah cum",i moaned."no you're not",he says."tell me the truth,were you young when you had your eldest?",he asked"yes i was,i was Twenty",i say."twenty two when i had Michael,twenty four when i had Liam",i say.</p><p>"you can cum",he says,he pulled out the plug,took off the cock ring,still teasing me with a strip tease.</p><p>he handcuffed me to a chair,teasing me,i moaned.he put his hands on my shoulders."oh who thought you could be so naughty",i moan"shut up",he growled,gagging me with his boxers.he sunk down on my cock,riding me.i'm a bottom."mm",i moaned.i hit his prostate hard.he moaned into my neck.he uncuffed me.we got dressed,acted like nothing happened ever.</p><p>"i'm not done",he says.that pushed me."I DON'T FUCKING CARE! ",i screamed at him.Stupid bipolar."don't fucking touch me!",i yell.</p><p>i wasn't thinking while in a manic state.i punched the wall.i hate having manic episodes."Freddie",i breathed through my nose,grabbed my jacket,remembering he locked the front door.he pinned me to the floor."Calm the fuck down",he warned.</p><p>"get off me then,you're right on my spine,it hurts",i growled."I not long ago had a child!",i scream. he moved his leg from my spine,keeping me pinned down. "i have all right to sedate you",he says.</p><p>"think i care right now",i spat.I saw him pick up a needle,realisation hit me,sedation,i got out of his grip,kicked him in the balls backed away,Max came to me.putting his weight on me.</p><p>I got up,Max sat away from us."calm down",Brian says."i'm having an episode i know,i have no control over what i do",i scream.here i go again.</p><p>grabbed his wrist"don't even think about it",i warned,"i will put up a fight",i warned,grinning.he chased me with it,i tripped over the coffee table,hitting my head off the sofa.I got up,felt my face,surprisingly okay.i punched the wall over and over"Stop it",Brian says.i flipped him off,got myself pinned to the floor. </p><p>the neighbours must've called the cops on us.i spat blood onto the floor."B Brian",i say"calm down",he says"i...can't breathe",i say.i was coming out of an episode.he put a pillow under my head.i clenched my fists,an urge to punch him."you're not even out of an episode are you?!",he asked"Nope",i grinned"it takes a few hours"i say.</p><p>he pinned me down onto the sofa,unlocked the front door.two cops came in.Fuck.one of them was George,i kicked Brian with a warning look.</p><p>"so this is what it is now?!",George says."No,its not",i spat."he's having a manic episode",Brian says.",fucking sedate him already,he has a foul mouth when he has one",George says"i'm twenty fucking six George,shut the fuck up already",i spat."i'm not sedating him,only stopping him from hurting one of us",Brian says"you're on my spine again",i growled.</p><p>he moved,keeping me pinned."keep it up,i'll put you in a  psych ward",Brian warned.I spat at him.</p><p>he pinned me to the floor,sitting on my arms.grabbed the sedation"its your own fault",he says before doing it in my neck."breathe Freddie",he says.I took deep breaths to ignore the sting of it.he injected it into me.it knocked me out.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">April 7th 1990     Wednesday</span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>"Good morning",i hear Brian say,i realised,he had held me while i was knocked out"let me go asshole",i groaned.he let me out of his arms.I grabbed the bin and puked."probably shouldn't of sedated me,forgot to mention,i'm fucking allergic to it",i say.</p><p>"what the hell did you use?",i ask"midazolam",he says"i'm allergic to it Brian",i say.he rubs my back,i puked up again.I took my allergy pills."fuck",i groaned.Brian came into the kitchen.he looked at my neck. </p><p>"i'm sorry",he says,wrapping his arms around my waist,nuzzling his face into the back of my neck"Stop it you big teddy bear",i say.he kissed where he sedated me last night."thank you but i'm okay",i say."never push me to my limit",i say"otherwise that will happen and i will have an episode",i say."this is why i don't yell half the time",i say.</p><p>"Freddie,you had full blown melt down last night,you went mental on me,punched my walls,kicked me in the balls twice",he says"good",i smirk.</p><p>"i'll show you good!",he says,tickling my sides"No!",i squealed before giggles took over.he tickled my sides madly,pinning my arms above me."St stop!",i giggled."No can do",he teased."awe is Freddie ticklish?Hmm?does he want tickles?yes he does",Brian baby talked me"No not my tummy anywhere but the tummy!",i giggled.</p><p>he carried me to his room,handcuffed me to the bed,put a box next to him.oh shit.he picked up a feather,i sucked my tummy in."No use doing that",he teased.he stroked the feather around my belly button."St stop it!",i squealed"does he want tickles?hmm",he baby talked me more,"B brian stop it i mean it",i say.</p><p>he took off the handcuffs,i sat up,tears flowing down my cheeks.PTSD attack.I needed max at this point."Max",i call,he came in,jumped onto my lap,nuzzling me,i cried into his fur."Freddie",Brian says softly,he picked me up,putting me on his lap,i cry into his chest.with my arms around his neck.</p><p>he rocked me back and forth gently"you're okay",he cooed softly,rubbing my back.he kissed my head."shh you're okay",he whispered.he gently rubbed my sides."oh you like that?",he asked,i nodded.he grabbed my hairbrush,brushed my hair gently,nice and slow."lay on your front",he says,i do,topless,he grabbed baby oil.</p><p>"is a massage okay?",he asked"more than",i smiled tiredly.he put it on his hands,working his way up my back softly."you can relax",he says."mm,feels so good",i yawned.Eleanor had been fed,having a morning nap.</p><p>he picked up a soft scrub brush,gently brushing around my back,it made me tired."mm that feels so good",i yawned more."so it should",he chuckled.he tickled up and down my back."Brian,use a feather,it feels nice",i yawned"daddy!",my three boys yelled.they ran in,i was half naked.</p><p>half asleep."Daddy!",Michael whined."Michael",i warned."Daddy!",he pouts.i put him in the naughty corner."Stay here five minutes",i say.</p><p>This was my story.</p><p> </p>
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